I didn’t intend on being a pregnant trans man. There are a lot of false narratives out there about trans folk and our fertility or lack thereof. When I started testosterone, I was told by my doctor that I would be infertile after the first dose. I was told by transphobes that my ovaries would shrivel up and fall out of my body, that my uterus would disintegrate and cause cancer. I was told that I was wrong for having top surgery. That mastectomies should be reserved for those with breast cancer. One person told me her mother died of breast cancer and that it was my fault for using up NHS resources that could have been used on her mother. Everyone has an opinion and they have it loudly. The cacophony is deafening.
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t hate my body. I’ve never hated my body. Not all trans people hate their bodies and you don’t NEED gender dysphoria to be trans.
I didn’t have chest contouring surgery because I hated my breasts. I had it because those breasts weren’t mine. My breasts weren’t particularly large so I could have easily worn a binder and been done with it but I didn’t want to. I have decided I probably won’t have bottom surgery now or in the future because I don’t feel any kind of way about the genitals that I have. They perform a function and that is all.
Whilst trying to navigate pregnancy as a man, I struggled to find anything that had been created with me and people like me in mind. Pregnancy clothing was floral or pastel coloured. Pregnancy journals had odes to mothers. Hypnobirthing tracks spoke about my “yoni opening like a flower in full bloom”! Affirmations spoke about goddesses.
When I came across The Queer Parenting Partnership, I was overjoyed! The resources you have available make me feel so seen. I immediately ordered a Watercolour Affirmation Notebook and have enjoyed writing and drawing in it since. I am also a beta tester for the pregnancy journal that’s not even available yet – I feel so lucky to be one of the first people to use it!
I have high hopes for the future of queer pregnancy and birth since finding The Queer Parenting Partnership and you should too!