Thank you for giving me this space to talk about my special family.
I was adopted when I was 4 by my two mums, A and M. They had tried many times to conceive but A had PCOS and other gynaecological issues and M was born without a uterus. When I first met A and M, they were so warm, loving, and welcoming. Within moments of being with them, I felt a sense of stability that was missing from the chaotic life I had known before. My birth parents, though full of love, were not in a position to provide the stability I needed at the time. It was a difficult situation for everyone, but adoption was the right choice for me.
My birth parents, H and L were unable to care for me for many reasons. They loved me so much and that was why they made an adoption arrangement for me. When the social worker first sat me down to explain the process, I felt confused and frightened and unwanted at first, but they assured me I wouldn’t be losing contact with my birth family. I’d still be able to see them and maintain that connection, which was so important to me. I hung on to that reassurance, knowing I wouldn’t be completely cut off from my past.
When I moved in with A and M, they made it clear that my birth family would always be a part of my life. We had their pictures on the walls in my bedroom and also in the lounge. We scheduled regular visits, and I remember my mums sitting with me, helping me write letters to my birth parents, and sending drawings I made at school. A and M showed me that family is more about care and commitment than anything else. I was loved, and that was the most important thing.
Growing up with two extra mums was honestly brilliant. A is this amazing, funny, creative type who’s always coming up with mad ideas for art projects or spontaneous day trips. M is more grounded, calm, and practical—she taught me how to ride a bike and is always there to help with homework. They had the same opinions on me dating and staying out late. They balanced each other perfectly, and in that balance, I found the stability I needed.
As I got older, I was able to have more direct conversations with H and L. We talked about why they couldn’t raise me, and though those conversations were sometimes tough, they helped me understand things from a broader perspective. I wasn’t angry or upset, just curious. And I never doubted their love for me. It was always clear just how much this adoption was for my benefit. H and I, in particular, have a strong bond. We go out for coffee regularly, and I’ll pop round to see her on weekends. She and L had separated but they both still loved me very deeply.
The older I’ve got, the more I’ve appreciated the openness of my adoptive mums. They’ve never once made me feel guilty or uncomfortable about staying close to my birth family. In fact, they’ve encouraged it. When I was 16 and had a big birthday party, both my families were there. A and M, my birth parents, my grandparents – all 8 of them , and so so many cousins—it was a beautiful mix of people who care about me. And that’s when it hit me: I’m lucky. I’m lucky to have two extra amazing mums who chose me and who are always there for me, and I’m lucky to still have that connection with where I come from.
Being adopted has shaped me in ways I never expected. It’s given me a deep understanding of family, love, and acceptance. People always ask me if it’s weird having two mums and a birth family, and I just smile. It’s not weird—it’s wonderful. I’ve got a wider circle of people who love me, and that’s something I won’t ever take for granted.
A and L are my parents in every sense of the word. They’ve guided me through life’s ups and downs, stood by me through my awkward teenage years, and celebrated all my milestones. But H and L are part of that journey too. Together and separately. We’ve all worked together to make sure that I feel supported and connected to my roots. It’s not always a typical family dynamic, but it’s mine, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.